Saturday, December 25, 2010

Looking For the Good in the Holidays

I'm the first one to admit that I have, for many years now, been kind of a scrooge. The holiday season was just a nuisance to me. My schedule for my cleaning business became insane because everybody wanted their house cleaned right before Christmas. Traffic was insane. You couldn't even go to the store for anything because it was so crowded with Christmas shoppers. I hated having to deal with my family. I hated having to spend money I didn't have to buy presents for people I didn't see all year. It all was just overwhelming and I decided after my mother died that I wasn't going to participate in any of it any more. So every year when Christmas came around, I just tuned it out and waited for it to be over with and I was grouchy for the whole month of December. I said that January 2 was my favorite day of the year because then the holiday crap was over with for another year. I threw away all those holiday seasons because I couldn't make myself feel what you're "supposed" to feel.

But this year, I've started a new tradition. I decided that I was going to choose which parts of the holidays I do enjoy and participate in those and skip the others. I love the lights and the decorations. So I put up my tree and decorated it. And for the first time in decades, I actually felt a little creative and I ended up doing the tree in all blue and silver. It's beautiful, if I do say so myself, and I'm really enjoying it. I dressed my car up like a reindeer. It's gotten me a lot of laughs. I have given some intangible gifts to people that I hope will stay with them much longer than anything I could have wrapped up in a box. And I guess, in a way, this blog is my gift to whoever is out there reading it.

There is the saying that Jesus is the reason for the season, and I have thought about Jesus a lot this year, though probably not in the traditional sense. Keeping with my theme of looking for the good, I've thought about all the principles that Jesus taught that, if we'll just believe them and apply them in our lives, will bring lots and lots of good into our lives. He taught that what we ask for in prayer, which I interpret to mean what we focus our thoughts on, we will receive...if we believe we will receive it. In other words, we get what we expect to get.

So this year I have actually enjoyed the Christmas season because I haven't put any attention on the parts of it that are stressful for me. I haven't tried to force Christmas to be anything in particular. I haven't tried to force myself to feel anything in particular. I haven't let myself feel sad because of what I "don't" have. I haven't tried to re-create any feelings or re-live any experiences that I've had in the past. I've stayed in the now moment and I've only put my attention on the parts of Christmas that bring me joy and pleasure now. And as I've looked for good in the holidays, the most amazing thing has happened! I found it!!! Wow! I might be on to something here!!!

Happy Holidays to everyone! A little late I guess. Sorry!!! :D btw, that really is my Christmas tree! Blue balls and all! LOL!

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