Friday, September 23, 2011

Trying this again

It has been nearly two years since I started writing this blog! When I first started writing it, I was trying to pull myself up out of a depression and change my thinking so I would have a better life. I figured that looking for something good to write about in my blog would help me develop the habit of looking for good things in my life. And it did! For about a year and a half, I had a great time writing in my blog and spending my days looking for good stuff to write about. But somehow, somewhere along the line, I slacked off on doing that and I allowed myself to slip back into a pretty deep depression, just like before I started this blog. I don't know why I slacked off or why I slipped. But slip I did!

I guess it's the same as the way I've slipped back into my old eating habits and have gained back some of the weight I lost in 2007. I haven't gained it all back but I've gained some of it back. I'm also not sure why I went back to my old ways of eating. Or my old ways of thinking. But one thing I do know is that I sure was a lot happier when I was a positive thinking size 6!!!! :D

So with this post, I'm pledging to get back to looking for good stuff to write about in my blog. And I'm pledging to break up with Ronald McDonald once and for all and get back to  eating right and exercising regularly .... and getting back into all the cute size 6 clothes I have.

So here's what was good about today.

* The weather was beautiful. Perfect temps, blue skies, a warm breeze.
* I felt genuinely good and happy today. I don't know why but I did and I enjoyed every minute of it.
* I spoke to a person today who gave me some info that may possibly make a huge difference in my life financially.
* I talked to a really cute guy! Didn't get his number but he was still fun to talk to and to look at! LOL!
* I stayed on my diet.
* I exercised.
* I got the idea of working as a volunteer at the farm near where I used to live and I sent in an email about it.
* I got the idea that I need to find places to go where people are having fun. Then even if I'm not doing anything with them, I can have fun vicariously through them by watching them and that will give me "fun" mentality.
* I talked to a really cute guy! Oh, I said that one already. Hee hee. :D
* I finally figured out something I had been thinking about for a long time with regard to what kind of male companion I'd like to have. The really cute guy I talked to today woulda been a good start! :D
* I felt pretty for the first time in a long time. I wonder if the really cute guy thought I was pretty. :D
* I felt strong for the first time in a while.
* I felt safe and peaceful for the first time in a long time.
* I'm writing in my blog for the first time in a while.
* I felt like looking for the good for the first time in a while.

I really think that exercise and meditation is what's pulling me back up from the depression. A couple of weeks ago, I woke up with that "something" inside me telling me to go for a walk instead of sitting around drinking coffee. And somehow I managed to push myself out the door and go for that walk. I had been so so depressed for quite a while and just that one walk made a huge difference in my mental outlook. It really perked me up better than any drug I've ever taken for depression. I was amazed at the dramatic difference. I've continued to exercise and I've started meditating again too and I can tell I'm releasing something when I do that. It also is helping me to stay in the present moment. I had been having a lot of anxiety and feelings of fear. But when I brought myself back to the present moment in meditation, all that went away. I think I'm on to something here!!!! Of course, every self-help book I've ever read said to exercise and meditate. Duh!

This post hasn't been "philosophical" like my other posts. But I really wanted to say what I've said in this post both to encourage anybody who might read it and to recommit myself to being the looking for the good girl! And being the looking for the good girl is a good thing! There! I found some good! :)

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